Maybe I should have expected it. Maybe I just wasn't familiar enough with it to know better.
I knew that when I had a new baby in the house, I wasn't going to be getting a whole lot of sleep. What with diaper changes and feedings every two hours, and a little one uncomfortable because it is in unfamiliar territory, it's just to be expected, right? But after all, it'll get better. They'll start sleeping through the night, and then ... and then ...
Well, ok, maybe I didn't think beyond the "and then."
I used to think my Mother was really odd. Seemed like she'd come home at the end of the day, have dinner, sit down in a chair, and be completely ready to go to bed by about 8 pm. I mean, hey, 8 pm?? What, was she nuts?
More and more I'm discovering that getting my kiddos sleeping through the night does not mean I'm always able to sleep. Seems like there's always something. This one's got a cough. That one's got a tummy ache. The other one wants a drink. Someone is banging the bathroom door in the middle of the night making a mid-night bathroom trip ... which one is it, and do I need to shoo them back to bed in a minute or two because they've fallen asleep on the bathroom floor after they got done? I don't sleep soundly now ... my ears are tuned to unexpected sounds that wake me up abruptly, and then once I finally identify them it takes me a few minutes to go back to sleep.
Anything and everything is a deterrent to Moms sleeping, believe it or not. There are always too many things to do during the day, which means some of it invariably gets pushed back until after the kids go to bed and there a fewer distractions. It also means staying up later than you might prefer. Then, once you actually manage to climb in the bed, you still can't actually go to sleep, because you're rehashing problems of the day and possible solutions for tomorrow. Plan of attack for tomorrow ... cleaning, laundry, homework, peace negotiations, den meetings, grocery shopping, where did I last see things that weren't put away, what am I gonna make for dinner?
Then you fall asleep, but you're not exactly sleeping, since all your dreams are about chasing things or running from things, or trying to find lost things, and never having a minute to sit down. Strangely enough, it sounds a lot like being awake. So am I sleeping or am I not sleeping?
Which means I now have a better understanding of my Mom. By the time dinner is over I'm just ready to go to bed. I don't know that I'll actually be sleeping, but one can always dream.
