Tuesday, August 16, 2011

It Doesn't Take Much

One thing that is readily apparent as I parent from day to day is the fact that it often doesn't take much when it comes to our kids ... either good or bad.

For instance, here about a week ago I got up on a Sunday morning and took a shower as I usually do. I opened the door to come out of the bathroom and get dressed to find my 6-year-old standing there right outside the bathroom door, still looking like he was half asleep. I gave him a mild scolding for coming in there while I was undressed, because we've been trying to teach him that there are parts of people's bodies that they need to keep private. (It's kind of a shame that kids have to learn about things so early anymore, but there you are.) At any rate, he immediately burst into tears and turned to leave the room. When I asked him why he was crying, he said, "I just wanted to tell you good morning!" I told him, "Ok, give me a minute to get dressed, and then you can tell me good morning."  I felt awful about the whole thing on the one hand, and wanted to laugh about it on the other. He probably wouldn't have responded quite that way if he'd been more awake, but it also reminded me again rather abruptly that even the most simple things you do and say can affect your children. Once I was dressed we sat and talked, and I tried again to explain about privacy, and that just because I didn't want him coming in there when I was getting out of the shower didn't mean I didn't want to tell him good morning, it just meant he needed to be patient for a minute while I got dressed. He was fine after a bit, of course, but I'm still thinking about it days later.

Praise is an easy way to make your kids happy. I think about my youngest, for instance, who will be two later this week, and the fact that he loves to go and sit on the potty because his older brothers are doing it. When he has a success we do a happy dance and share big hugs, and he's on cloud nine. No worries about potty charts or anything else at this stage ... he just loves the extra attention. It makes me ponder the families out there that can't really be bothered paying attention to their kids. They put them in daycare when they're tiny, ignore them when they get home because there's too many other things to do, shove them into a million different activities when they're older, and wonder why they don't turn out acting quite like they think they should have. I realize that's not true of people across the board, but come on people, use some common sense. These are YOUR children, and they want to be with YOU. Just be careful what you say and do around them, or they may turn out more like you than you wanted them to!