The Power of Tears

You know, as a Mommy, I’ve seen my share of tears from my kids. Tears of frustration, tears for hurt feelings and hurt body parts, tears that are all for show, because they aren’t getting what they want. Every once in a while, though, the power of their tears takes me by surprise.

Yes, I’m the typical Mommy (or at least I think I am). I know when their tears are just indicators of a tantrum. I know that for some hurts, Mommy kisses will dry them almost immediately, and they’ll get back to what they are doing. I also know that sometimes, when the hurts are genuine and painful, like splits to the head or knees or whatever else, sometimes it takes more cuddling and kisses than the typical bumps and bruises. Once in a while, though … once in a very great while, they nearly cause tears in Mommy as well.

I had that experience several months ago with my middle son. He is, at four, sometimes still very much in his “terrible twos.” Tantrums and meltdowns are commonplace in his world, and so I’m greatly accustomed to his loud angry wails about one thing or another. That is why this particular day was so unique. I was chastising him, yet again, about something that he was doing that he had been told time and again NOT to do. I left the room for a moment, and when I returned he was standing where I had left him, making not a sound, but with tears streaming silently down his face. It made my heart lurch. He never cries quietly, and because I work really hard to choose my words carefully with my children, I knew I hadn’t said anything that should have been particularly hurtful. We sat and talked for a few minutes, shared a hug, and then he went on his way. But somehow the memory of those silent tears catches me off guard even now. I never knew why they came or why they went, but they certainly touched my heart.

Nerves

You know, it doesn't seem to matter how your day starts out, there will always be a day here and there when everything under the sun is going to get on your nerves, especially when it comes to your kids. I've always been one of those quiet, somewhat introverted, stick-your-nose-in-a-book-and-read-for-hours types. So how on earth did I get blessed with three energetic, boisterous little boys?

I'm not complaining about having little boys, mind you. I'm very thankful for my sons, and even more thankful that they are happy, healthy little boys with all of their energy and their quirks and everything else that makes up little boys. Remember the old rhyme? Snips and snails and puppy dog tails? Still, I have to admit that sometimes one of the biggest things that I wish for is just a few minutes of quiet time. My six-year-old, having just started school this past year, has become the typical little know-it-all. Most of the time, it's not a big deal, but trying to convince him that people really don't want him trying to tell them he knows best can be a bit of a challenge. My four-year-old, in some respects, has never left his twos. He has a tendency towards whining and meltdowns whenever something doesn't go his way, or when I try to make him do something he doesn't want to do. I remember my oldest going through all this ... I just don't remember it lasting quite this long. Maybe it's a "middle child" thing. My youngest, almost two, is pretty much a good-natured child, but he spends altogether too much time picking up his older brothers' bad habits. Needless to say, while most days around here are fairly uneventful, there are occasionally days when all three personalities converge in a massive explosion of rambunctiousness that drives this quiet-natured Mommy nuts.

I don't have any one answer to how I respond when it happens ... anything from a round of naps for everyone (including Mommy), to sending everyone to their rooms for a while, to just putting in some music or a DVD for a distraction. One of the best things in the world is when my husband comes home from work and entertains the kids where I can curl up in a hot bath with a book for about half an hour. It gives me just the re-charge time that I need to get up and go again the next day, without becoming a nervous wreck. Gotta love it!

Lesson: It is physically impossible for children not to touch things

            We have a rule for our kids that was supposed to make life easier. The rule is, “Look with your eyes, not with your fingers.” Trouble is, it’s nice in theory, but hard for little boys (and probably little girls) to put into practice. I know they learn by exploring their world, but my-oh-my don’t I wish that I didn’t have to spend every other second during a trip to the grocery store repeating, “Leave that alone. Don’t touch that. Put that back. That isn’t yours, leave it alone. Get down, that’s not to climb on. Don’t pull the tags off. Don’t slide on that. Close the freezer door, you’re letting all the cold out. Don’t play with the fruit, people don’t want you touching their food.” And so on and so on. It got so bad at one point that I threatened to put all three of them into the shopping basket, just so I could keep them corralled. Believe it or not, I even bought a package of “Chinese handcuffs” (remember those?) thinking that I might have to distract them by tying their hands together with something. I haven’t actually used them yet, but I have to admit that I have been sorely tempted at times. It would help if I could remember to actually put them in my purse …