I'm fine ... really!

Someone asked me out of politeness the other day, "How are you doing?" And of course, I said, "I'm fine, thanks."

Why do we do that?

I suppose a lot of that response is automatic, just like a lot of times the question is automatic. Unless we're talking to a good friend that we tend to confide in anyway, most people don't really want to know the minutae of our everyday existence ... whether we're up or down, angry, stressed, joyful, hurting, or whatever. In truth, they probably don't need to, anyway.

But I've learned, especially since becoming a mother, that "fine" is one of those relative terms. For instance, in any given week, I might say I'm fine when:

• I'm stressed about how one of my sons is doing at school.
• I'm elated over some new genealogy find.
• I'm wondering if my youngest will ever remember to use the potty on his own.
• I'm thrilled that despite our one-income lifestyle, we're managing to pay off our debt.
• I'm missing my long-distance family.
• I'm trying to remember the umpteen million things I need to get done for five people.
• I'm wondering what's for dinner.
• I'm wishing someone ELSE would make ME dinner.
• I'm in the mood to go clothes shopping, but can't seem to make myself spend any money even when I get the opportunity to go.
• I'm totally loving my husband, who calls me beautiful no matter how frazzled I get, and loves me for who I am.
• I'm thinking I'd love for it to be spring, so I could get out in my garden and grow some yummy stuff to eat.
• One of the songs we just sang at church made me teary, because it reminded me of a lost loved one.
•  My allergies are bothering me, and I really wish this headache would go away.
• I'm about to pull my hair out, because life with three little boys is all about NOISE.
• I'm feeling blessed, because I have three active, healthy little boys.

"Fine" means so many things. And saying "I'm fine" isn't necessarily untruthful, even on days when life happens to be weighing me down. The truth is, some of these things, even the "not fun" ones, are just a normal part of life for me. And besides that, I know that when I'm feeling troubled or overloaded, there's always someone I can go to that will listen. I can pray for myself and I can pray for others who may also be "fine", or may not. We can all help each other directly or indirectly, in big ways or small, in public, in private or anonymously. It makes the world a better place, and it makes us feel better about who we are. You remember me, and I remember you, whether we tell each other about it or not.

So, I AM fine ... really.  :)